Kathy White
Kathy WhiteMA (Oxon); D.Clin Psych (UCL)
Dr. Kathy White, Clinical Psychologist: a decade working in the NHS. Accredited and experienced in supporting and empowering individuals and couples to overcome a range of difficulties through therapy. Specialist in enabling individuals and couples to improve their sexual well-being and communication. Passionate about tailoring psychology for parents, enabling them to navigate the tensions of parenthood with more confidence and resilience. Experienced in working with people who have found themselves judged or marginalised by societal or cultural ideas, and supporting them to move towards their preferred life with confidence.
WHO DO I SEE?
Seeking support can be really difficult and may I say congratulations for getting to the point of reading this right now!
The term “Clinical Psychologist” is a protected title in the UK, meaning that Clinical Psychologists must be registered with the Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC) who ensure they meet the training requirements and adhere to a strict code of conduct. Please feel free to check my HCPC registration (PYL28909) on http://www.hpc-uk.org/check/.
As a Clinical Psychologist, I am qualified and experienced to work with a range of difficulties,
including anxieties, depressions, low self-esteem, the challenges of living with health conditions, communication difficulties and tensions within relationship. My doctorate included extensive teaching in the breadth of challenges we can face in life, along with being accessed working as a psychologist in six 6-month placements. Since qualifying as a Clinical Psychologist 6 years ago, I worked within a busy NHS service and last year became Acting Head of Service. I now focus on seeing a small number of clients privately, allowing myself to have more the time to reflect about each client in order to ensure therapy is as tailored as it can be.
Privately I offer therapy for individuals and couples in the areas I am most experienced in; I find therapy most rewarding when I can be most useful, and I believe people deserve to have the most helpful support they can. An important part of my role as a therapist is on-going supervision, training and self-reflection; I believe coming into therapy takes great courage and it is my responsibility to support people in the most helpful way that I can and keep my skills up-to-date.
Privately I mostly offer therapy with individuals and couples who are:
- living with challenges in relation to sex,
sexual identity or sexual health (all genders and sexualities)
- living with stigma and the almost inevitable impact this has on self-esteem, including people living with HIV and other stigmatised conditions
- living withlow-self esteem and/or anxiety
- parents (mostly of pre-schoolers)
At the same time, I am grateful for my broad training as the reality is problems we face rarely fit into ‘neat boxes’, for example when we lose an interest in sex sometimes it is ‘just’ to do with aspects around our current or past sex-life, but sometimes it is also to do with other current life challenges we are facing, with our relationships and with what sex connects to for us (e.g what it triggers in our minds) etc. If an important area outside of my expertise becomes apparent in our conversations, then I will offer options of how we could work together in therapy to move forward, along with other options (e.g. NHS or other private alternatives).
I am trained to work, amongst other models, systemically: that is to understand people within the ‘systems' they live in, for instance within a couple or a family, and the influences of cultural and societal ‘norms’. My work often includes acknowledging the role that different ideas from different parts of our life have on us, for instance the ideas about what sort of sex we ‘should’ be having, or the way we ‘should’ bring up our children. We often are surrounded by so many different ideas, which are often competing and emotionally charged. I am interested in supporting people to navigate these multiple perspectives and discover what works for them in their lives, and to enable people to have the self-confidence to hold onto themselves and their own wisdoms.
COMMON REASONS PEOPLE SEEK THERAPY WITH ME:
- Low self-confidence
- Living with stigma or judgement
- Anxiety and self-doubt
- Questions in relation to self- identity
- Being a parent: often all of the above and more!
Sexual Problems including:
- Feeling anxious or avoidant of having sex
- Difficulties getting or keeping erections*
- Painful sex: vaginal*, vulval* or anal*
- Having no or lower libido/ sex drive*
- Low sexual confidence
- Feeling out of control with sex, or ‘sexually addicted’
- Challenging feelings about their own sexuality, sexual identity or sexual history
- Coming sooner than they would like
- Difficulties having an orgasm*
- Feeling very worried about STIs or HIV
- Different sexual preferences within a couple
- Feeling they do not fit some societal ideas of 'masculinity' or 'femininity' or other available 'labels'
People living with HIV or herpes (or STIs) experiencing difficulties e.g.
- the challenges of living with stigma
- difficulties talking about HIV, herpes, hepatitis or STIs with others
- anxiety or difficulties with sex
- low self-confidence
- mixed feelings about medication
- challenging feelings about how STIs became part of their life
* National Guidelines recommend to also see a medical doctor to assess for organic factors causing or contributing to sexual difficulties, which could also be indicative of other medical conditions. I am not a medical doctor; I am a specialist in psychological therapy.
Therapy & Parenting
As Myla & Jon Kabat-Zinn so aptly name in their, ‘Mindfulness for parents’ book: “parenting is one of the most challenging, demanding, and stressful undertakings in the planet…to parent consciously requires that we engage in an inner work on ourselves as well as the outer work of nurturing and caring for our children.” The time when we can find it the hardest to 'fit in therapy' or other aspects of well-being, can be the time when we most need it: for ourselves, and for those around us.
The process of parenting taps into much about how we feel about ourselves and how we relate to others. I believe now is an opportunity to have conversations that enable us to live life more consciously and in line with our hopes and values, and move away from ways of being which are no longer helpful. I am passionate about making evidence-based psychological understandings accessible to people and supporting them to put these into practice in their realities of their life, so that they can negotiate challenges with clarity, calmness and confidence. I believe everyone deserves to have a personalised understanding of their emotional world: this includes knowing enough about how our brains work combined with our own personal life experiences to make sense of why we feel the way we feel and why we do what we do.
I am struck by how under-valued and generally unsupported parenting is in our society, despite knowing the significant impact of how we parent has on our well-being and the well-being of our children. I appreciate Naomi Stadlen’s chapter title ‘I was surprised that I still had the same name’ in her also wonderfully named book ‘What mothers do, especially when it looks like nothing.’ Indeed, I think it is amazing how transformative becoming a parent is, including the impact on our sense of self, our emotional worlds and what it brings into focus. The mixture of emotions experienced and challenges this poses in many of our relationships can often be simplified and rushed over in the daily life of being a parent, all whilst previous strategies to manage challenging situations are often no longer as helpful or available now. I would like to offer you the space you deserve at this important moment in your life.
It is not hard to think of a whole list of factors as to why depressions and anxieties are high post-natally; I look forward to a time when these experiences are talked about more freely beyond ‘post-natally’, and more focus on sharing ways to negotiate and navigate the on-going dilemmas and tensions of parenthood. I am experienced at working with people who are living with low self-confidence, self-criticism, perfectionism, anxiety and self-doubt, including those who in parts of their life (e.g. within their work identities) do not recognise the part of them that feels overwhelmed and anxious. I often find it particularly useful to draw from research and practices from Mindfulness, Compassion-based-cognitive-behavoural-therapy and ‘Gentle’ parenting; however, as a Clinical Psychologist, I am trained in a number of approaches, work flexibly and discuss which approach feels most useful for individuals.
Sexual identity, sexuality, ’LGBTQ’ and identifying as ‘straight’:
I am not sure I find LGBTQ a helpful phrase for what it’s used for. However, people have let me know that when they are looking for a therapist they find it useful to know whether a therapist has the knowledge, confidence and familiarity to talk directly about aspects to do with gay sex or lesbian sex or ‘straight’ sex when you are bi or sex when people do not live according to traditional heterosexual monogamous ideas. Within my six years working in an NHS London Sexual Problems and Sexual Health Service, I have gained extensive experience of working with people with a range of different ideas about sex, who enjoy sex in different ways or who do not yet know their sexual preferences.
‘Straight sex’: I also am not a fan of the term 'straight' but am aware it's commonly used by people who identify as 'mainstream' or heterosexual. I want to note that about half of my experience is working with people who identify as heterosexual who can, of course, also struggle with dilemmas to do with their sexuality. For example, I have worked with lots of women who identify as ‘straight’ and, for a range of reasons, do not feel they fit the ‘heterosexual template’ that they think they should e.g. they are not ‘on track’ for the 2 point 4 children with a husband or living according to traditional ideas of being female. A common reason people seek support is because they do not feel they fit societal 'ideals' of masculinity or femininity, and working out where they 'fit'.
A Brief C.V.
I have worked full-time in the NHS as a qualified Clinical Psychologist since 2012; prior to this I worked for six years in different support and therapeutic roles in which I developed a passion for making psychological ideas more accessible and working with people who are devalued by society. I am more than happy to let you know details of the services and types of difficulties I have worked with, to help you see if my experience fits your current needs and hopes.
Last year I was Acting Head of two busy London psychology services: a psychology service within a Sexual Health and HIV clinic, and a Sexual Problems Service. During this time, I was nominated for the Trust’s ‘hidden gem’ award for the high quality, innovative and effective therapy programmes we offered clients. I have recently made the decision to work part-time in the NHS in a less demanding role, though still as a Senior Clinical Psychologist, and part-time offering private therapy (see below for why I made this decision).
Alongside working therapeutically with individuals and couples, I supervise other psychologists and therapists with their clinical work, I design and facilitate workshops for groups of clients and teach other healthcare professionals. I lecture at leading universities, including UCL, and (prior to becoming a mother) lectured internationally at conferences. My first degree in Experimental Psychology provided me with a strong research background, in which to understand how to usefully (and critically) apply and tailor latest research to best support clients. I also do my best to practice myself what I talk with clients about, including mindfulness and compassion-based therapy.
Libido in long-term relationships: a clip from Radio 4 as a brief flavour of how I speak!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b07jqqjv/segments
If the link does not work, search: “Radio 4 Women and Low Libido: One listener shares her experiences” (In this programme, I am referred to as Katherine as the listener is called Cathy).
Aside: I have a slight ‘cringe’ reaction listening back to this as there is so much more I wish I could have said! One challenge is that there are many reasons — emotional, physical, behavioural and relational — people experience ‘low’ libido. In ‘real-life’ I would ask questions to understand a couple’s own unique combination of reasons; this would include questions about how happy they were with their pre-baby sex-life, the meaning of sex in their relationship and the particular ways life has changed for them since having a baby. An example of the latter: how is the baby fed? Breast-feeding from the breast, breast-feeding through expressing, formula-bottle-feeding or combination feeding all present unique challenges to mother, to the couple and consequently to re-establising a sexual relationship. Where do the baby and parents sleep? Bed-sharing/ co-sleeping, baby sleeping next to parents’ bed, sleeping in a cot in the same room as their parents, the baby or a parent sleeping in different rooms again raise different dilemmas for how to negotiate time being intimate as a couple. The list could, of course, go on: instead, I will write a reflection piece at a later date regarding what I would say with more time!
WHY DO I WORK PRIVATELY
When I started my training as a Clinical Psychologist I really believed that I would always work full-time in the NHS; I believed, as I still do, that everyone should have quick and free access to high quality emotional support about issues which are important to them.
I believe that all of us at some time in our lives could benefit from psychological support - although what this support looks like will vary greatly from one person to the next. I think that many psychological and relationship difficulties would be prevented if people had timely and tailored support when they need it.
As you may know, having NHS psychological support with problems to do with sexual well-being has always been a ‘post-code lottery’ and, in my opinion, this sadly looks like it is set to continue (or worsen) following changes in how services are being commissioned. In the face of this, I have decided to work ‘just’ part-time in the NHS as a Senior Clinical Psychologist, part-time privately and part-time as a mother. I hope that I can offer therapy to people privately who otherwise do not have free useful local support that fits with their current needs; where I think that NHS services exist for clients as a helpful alternative, I let them know.
In working privately and closer to where I live- I am addressing my own ‘work-life balance’, with now more time to pause, reflect and 'be' and, consequently I believe, be a more helpful and authentic psychologist.
HOW I WORK PRIVATELY
It is my job to enable you to feel safe, respected and treated as an individual when we meet, and to ensure that our conversations are as useful as they can be for you.
My preferred way of working is to initially meet for 90 minutes to discuss your hopes, your current situation and anything you think is useful for me to know, and to talk together about the most useful way forward. This is most likely to be us making a plan of how we will move forward together in therapy, for instance meeting for 6 sessions to develop a shared understanding and solutions for current challenges. Alternatively, you may find that this one-off meeting is enough to help you move forward at this time, or it may be that I recommend another service if I do not think I am the best person to help you at this time. Either way, I intend for this first meeting to leave you feel clearer about how to move towards your preferred life.
The approach we use in therapy will depend on your individual needs, preference and hopes; as a Clinical Psychologist I am qualified and experienced in working with a number of approaches. I will also seek your feedback as we move through therapy to ensure that I work as helpfully as I can with you. Change towards your preferred future will take place through the conversations we have together, and through the ideas we co-create for you to try between sessions.
- 90 minute initial consultation: is £100
- Therapy Sessions are £100 per hour;
sometimes when a block of sessions are booked we can agree a lower price to fit with what is affordable for you.
Focused ‘Sex therapy’ (for individuals or couples experiencing one main sexual problem): typically 2- 8 sessions, tailoring latest research-based strategies for you
For other therapy, as listed above, or couple therapy in the context of additional challenges: typically 6- 18 sessions. I can offer longer-term therapy, but often this is not necessary for goal-focused work; sometimes, however, people find it valuable to have on-going psychological support during challenging periods of their lives.
In Mackenzie-White Conversations we are committed to tailoring psychological support to the needs of the individuals we work with; questions regarding length and type of therapy are, therefore, probably more helpfully answered over email or the ‘phone.